LOVE HER
by rmlawson78
Summary: THE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS OF EMILY AFTER MAKING A MEMORY!


**I HAVE NOT DECIDED IF THIS WILL BE THE LAST ONE-SHOT BEFORE I BLOW INTO A SERIES OF LONG CHAPTERS OR POSSIBLY ONE MORE AFTER THIS….I REALLY WANT TO SET A BASIS FOR THE STORY LINE….BUT I AM FEELING THE PRESSURE THAT I WANT TO PLEASE THE READERS MORE! AS ALWAYS I DO NOT OWN CRIMINAL MINDS OR ITS CHARACTERS! **

**THIS TAKES PLACE ABOUT A MONTH AFTER "MAKING A MEMORY"…HOPE YOU ENJOY**

**LOVE HER**

I had made a vow to myself not to drink anymore unless it was a casual one with friends or toasting to an event. So far I had done pretty well considering I had only partaking of 1 bottle of wine since that weekend about a month ago when I choose to go off the deep end and plaster through a whole case. You would think after my extensive hiatus during being dead with the medical staff repeatedly telling me that drinking and diet changes where very important that I would listen! HA…fuck them all I was EMILY PRENTISS ghost that was not even alive…..but now who was I? Sure I am alive now, but who had I become?

A foolish person once said: To Love Her is To Know Her! Well he sure as hell had a funny way of showing it. I knew he loved me regardless of him ever saying those words to me, but then again one could say he never showed me so how do you know that he loved you? I would have cantered back, because I love him…..wait a minute did I just say that out loud? Why did I just look around in my own home to see if anyone heard me beats me, considering God knows these walls cannot speak!

**THREE WEEKS AFTER BAU ARRIVED**

It was late Monday afternoon and the case of HOPKINS/WARDLAW was officially finally coming to an almost stand still this unsub had not only stumped 2 international agency along with local law enforcement, but had also escalated to killing 4 more women & 2 more missing. I had been filling the strain from political propaganda's for 3 days now after the 4th body had appeared making me wish maybe I had definitely chose another career path.

Not only feeling the pressure from the brass I was feeling the disappointment from my team as well from the BAU, Hotch had seemed to live in my office or the conference space provided for the team to work in. Sometimes it felt like old times having my old team surrounding me, except for one thing Derek had not even spoken 2 words out of context to me unless need be for case purposes. How can 2 people who were so closely inseparable now seem like visitors from other realms!

I told Hotch that I was giving my team off the rest of the evening since they had worked non-stop since they had arrived, he agreed that he had thought the same thing, considering in the time-line of things they probably had at least 2 more days before he would either strike again or kill one of the 2 missing now.

By the time I had glanced at my watch it was already a little after 6pm, knowing I needed to head out since I had not left since Thursday morning and I was ready for a soak in my tub, instead of a quick shower from the downstairs locker rooms. When a light knock come on my office door, I said for the unknown visitor to come in not really surprised when I saw that it was Mick with a big smile wanting to know if I wanted to grab a bite to eat I just chuckled…saying you know me all too well! He told me he knew I was under a lot of pressure on this case, knowing that I wouldn't leave until we solved this, but also knew how much I usually forgot to eat when I was highly stressed. I told him I needed to head home and unwind so I would have to pass, which I should have known would not suffice him what so ever. He said he would be over in an hour with Chinese & a few case files that he needed to go over with me to tie up loose ends from on-going cases. I agreed knowing I would only have gone home partaking of a hefty glass of something hard considering how this week had already gone.

(I guess I never realized after a whole year how close Mick & I had become….he definitely took the place of my sounding board I had with my BAU family, but still I knew Mick was too far out there for me to ever feel completely safe if I were to ever have to be in the field again with him! He proved to me on the case in San Francisco a few years ago when we both where still with the BAU he would never let anything happen to me, but he also proved he was a lone gun…..something that always unnerved me because in another life or another time we would have been perfect for each other.)

I guess I should have known the real reason why Mick wanted to come over was that Vanessa his girlfriend had been staying at my loft since Saturday evening after their little argument about her taking an assignment that was going to take her away for 4 months to Canada. Mick was always insecure of their relationship thinking she was going to leave him…..even though he tried to never let that show…But who was I to get in the way of their love life, considering mine was non-existent!

By the time I had made it home Mick was already there snuggled up to Vanessa on the balcony, I decided that was my clear all to go and enjoy my large jetted tub and a glass of scotch that Rossi just happened to bring me. When he snuck in my office last Wednesday with that little fatherly grin he does, saying Bella Mia I have missed you so and our conversations. I had a heavy feeling in my chest knowing that he still felt the hurt from me leaving I couldn't refuse to jump up and just wrap my arms around him, but before I could get into his arms he said whoa I think we should toast to old and new times 1st. I looked at him strangely when he handed me that silken bag, which I should have known what it pertained, none other than his personal stash of imperial scotch. I glee'd with excitement knowing how he only shared this with a certain few people, and that I was ever so honored.

(Coming in from the balcony Mick was saying his goodbyes to Vanessa, standing in the door way telling her how much he loved her & couldn't wait to see her at work in the morning kissing her ever so passionately. At the same time standing around the corner in the corridor from the elevator was watching another man on a mission seeing Mick Rawson saying & doing all the things to his woman that he should be doing instead of spying around a corner as the other man, but wait….wouldn't you have to be involved to be the other man? Unannounced to Derek all he could see was that long raven haired woman not knowing she was really Vanessa and not the object of his affection!)

I heard the door shut downstairs so knew I was in the clear to head to the kitchen to grab something to eat quickly and then head back to bed, as I strolled through the open space between the stairs and the kitchen area Vanessa whistled hey hot stuff…..I hope you are not wearing that for me….I just laughed saying it's nice to feel free once in a while….Vanessa said yeah but a black fitted silk slip revealing oh so much, to only go to bed alone in? I knew she was right, but considering since I had moved here I usually slept in the nude expressing my acceptance to the European ways…..! I could see why Mick loved her, she was exactly like him speaking his mind never thinking about what they had just said!

By the time I had turned around from the kitchen Vanessa had already vanished, meaning she was already in the spare room chatting with Mick. I headed to the front foyer area to switch off all the lights when I saw Micks gun and credentials laying on the hallway table, going to grab them to put them in the safe I heard a knock at the door, thinking it was Mick I said you crazy man that's why we work so well together you'd forget your head if it wasn't attached! But to my utter shock as I looked into those piercingly brown eyes, my face must have showed the pure shock on it seeing him standing their looking like he was going to kill someone. Before I could compose myself, he had already looked me up and down seeing my attire; my chest rising ever so heavily from trying to maintain composure, his gaze seemed to loom over every little inch of my body, making me start to hold my breath at the anticipation of what was happening. My mind started having racing thoughts of him, those wondering eyes and what he was thinking behind those fierce eyes of his, I was imagining it was slamming me up against this door having his way with me, but the next thing that happened completely floored me!

(Derek did not know what possessed him to stand there and watch the two of them hugging/kissing hearing Mick saying I love you….considering he was the one that loved her! What he did next was almost like a robots movements that are so mechanical after seeing Mick leave her loft, he had been standing there for almost what seemed like an eternity, but was actually 10 minutes looking at that door. It was calling to him….just drawing him closer, as he knocked on it he thought he had went MAD, what was he hoping to accomplish he already had his proof! She had moved on, but he kept saying she never said I love you to him in the doorway, maybe there was hope! When the door opened…seeing her in all her essence of practically nothing his face took on that of a scorned man out for blood! God he thought how he wanted to just go all primal on her pouncing like a leopard would its own prey, eyeing every aspect of her perfectly sculpted body, her creamy silken skin, her lusciously formed breast that craved his attention, to imagining what was underneath that fitted peril of luster that outlined her ever so perfectly, right down to those long shapely legs he had always wanted to be wrapped around him! )

Before I could say anything his eyes glimmered with lust I knew that was what it was, I had seen him look at me with those same eyes a year ago, along with several other times just thinking he was going to make his move…..but was brought back to reality when he said: "I see it's true you have moved on, & just like that before I could say a single word of protest he had turned walking away towards the elevator. I was dumb founded, I had no clue what he was talking about, when the elevator door opened Mick came running out looking at Derek giving him a gracious nod, Derek turned around to Mick saying if you "LOVE HER" don't hurt her or that will be the end of you! Derek simply turned on his heel quickly to the opened elevator & that was the last time I saw him…

**THE END**


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